Monday, May 7, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Week 2 vs Ralphies
Ralphies 7
Conundrums 17
Attendance: 1
Season Total: 1
Lakewood, CO (TP) – Overcoming multiple fielding/throwing/batting gaffs by team star, and black-shirted serial uniform rebel, Paul Ries, the 2-time champions raced by Ralpies 17-7 Monday night at Lakewood Park.
The 2-0 record to begin the season marks the best Puzzlers start since the team entered the internet age. Team historian, manager, owner, and amateur video director, editor, and producer, Bob Tomey, surmised that “the 2004 Conundrums might have started 2-0”, but indicated the team’s archives on microfiche would need to be consulted to confirm his suspicions.
Unexcused Absences: After Tom Hodorff abandoned the team in the season opener due to “gestational conclusion syndrome”, third baseman Brandon Casey summarily excused himself in Week 2 (without permission mind you) due to a “multi-thousand dollar real estate negotiation”. Emboldened by Tom and Brandon’s brash attitudes against team spirit, Eric Swanson informed teammates that his wife is “due” next Tuesday, putting his Week 3 (or perhaps Week 4) attendance in doubt. Reports that Butcher will skip Week 5 due to toenail fungal complications remain unfounded, yet very, very convincing.
The fields are alive with the sound of music: Due to overwhelming competition for the West Metro area Leisure League softball dollar, Lakewood Parks and Rec has added in-game entertainment to its menu. Although the music was delivered by way of a Mr. Mouth microphone amplifying dusty 45’s, fans and players alike seemed to be impressed. Post-game polling indicates Conundrum fans would like to hear more Sesame Street and/or Doris Day music.
Quote of the Week #1
“HEADS UP BOB!! WATCH OUT!!” – Conundrum pitcher Dale St. Aubin reacting to a ball harmlessly hit by mini-St. Aubin in the opposite direction of Bob.
Quote of the Week #2
“That’s not funny. The kid nearly took my head off last week” – Conundrum skipper Bob Tomey responding to Dale St. Aubin’s laughter immediately following #1.
Quote of the Week #3
(Something, something) “Wally Pipp” – Coach Bob’s maniacal ranting about Brandon’s unexcused absence. You really had to be there. No seriously, it was hilarious at the time. We ALL laughed.
Quote of the Week #4
“Oh, well I would have remembered eventually” – Shortstop Tom Hodorff after being reminded his wife’s birthday was this coming Sunday.
Fin: Gentlemen, the Conundrums are on the precipice of greatness. We are on the verge of accomplishing what the so-called “experts” said was impractical, nay “impossible”. Nobody believed in you (especially Bob), yet here we are. Together as a team. United under the banner of success and triumph. The enormity of the situation pales in significance to the fact that our next game is on Monday, May 7th at 7:15pm (MT).
Conundrums 17
Attendance: 1
Season Total: 1
Conundrums Run Raphies
New grandma accepts chocolate trophy on behalf of new dad, and Week 2 MVP, Tom Hodorff (3-3, 2RBI, 2B)
Lakewood, CO (TP) – Overcoming multiple fielding/throwing/batting gaffs by team star, and black-shirted serial uniform rebel, Paul Ries, the 2-time champions raced by Ralpies 17-7 Monday night at Lakewood Park.
The 2-0 record to begin the season marks the best Puzzlers start since the team entered the internet age. Team historian, manager, owner, and amateur video director, editor, and producer, Bob Tomey, surmised that “the 2004 Conundrums might have started 2-0”, but indicated the team’s archives on microfiche would need to be consulted to confirm his suspicions.
Unexcused Absences: After Tom Hodorff abandoned the team in the season opener due to “gestational conclusion syndrome”, third baseman Brandon Casey summarily excused himself in Week 2 (without permission mind you) due to a “multi-thousand dollar real estate negotiation”. Emboldened by Tom and Brandon’s brash attitudes against team spirit, Eric Swanson informed teammates that his wife is “due” next Tuesday, putting his Week 3 (or perhaps Week 4) attendance in doubt. Reports that Butcher will skip Week 5 due to toenail fungal complications remain unfounded, yet very, very convincing.
The fields are alive with the sound of music: Due to overwhelming competition for the West Metro area Leisure League softball dollar, Lakewood Parks and Rec has added in-game entertainment to its menu. Although the music was delivered by way of a Mr. Mouth microphone amplifying dusty 45’s, fans and players alike seemed to be impressed. Post-game polling indicates Conundrum fans would like to hear more Sesame Street and/or Doris Day music.
Quote of the Week #1
“HEADS UP BOB!! WATCH OUT!!” – Conundrum pitcher Dale St. Aubin reacting to a ball harmlessly hit by mini-St. Aubin in the opposite direction of Bob.
Quote of the Week #2
“That’s not funny. The kid nearly took my head off last week” – Conundrum skipper Bob Tomey responding to Dale St. Aubin’s laughter immediately following #1.
Quote of the Week #3
(Something, something) “Wally Pipp” – Coach Bob’s maniacal ranting about Brandon’s unexcused absence. You really had to be there. No seriously, it was hilarious at the time. We ALL laughed.
Quote of the Week #4
“Oh, well I would have remembered eventually” – Shortstop Tom Hodorff after being reminded his wife’s birthday was this coming Sunday.
Fin: Gentlemen, the Conundrums are on the precipice of greatness. We are on the verge of accomplishing what the so-called “experts” said was impractical, nay “impossible”. Nobody believed in you (especially Bob), yet here we are. Together as a team. United under the banner of success and triumph. The enormity of the situation pales in significance to the fact that our next game is on Monday, May 7th at 7:15pm (MT).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
