Week 13 - vs. Our Bats, Your Balls, vs. Maptek T-Bones

Our Bats, Your Balls 13
Conundrums 8

Maptek T-Bones 6 (4 Innings
Conundrums 24
Attendance: 8
Season Attendance To Date: 24

After 6 takes, the MVP award for games 1 and 2 were finally recorded;

Coach awards Game 1 Crunchoclaty to Paul Ries, Game 2 MVP nod goes

to Ed Layton. Lesson learned: Never give camera to mohito-challenged

photographer.

11's Enough!

OBYB End 'drums' Streak; Maptek Drubbing in Nightcap Cuts Magic # to 1

LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) - The Puzzler woes on cavernous Field #1 continued Monday night as the team failed to clinch the Leisure League title. With a dreary performance in the first game of a doubleheader, the Conundrums fell to Our Bats, Your Balls - or OBYB in shorthand-speak - by a 13-8 margin. The FOP Dawgs were requested to issue an APB for the offense and defense as both of these typical Conundrum traits were MIA. The loss snapped the Conundrums’ 11 game win streak, but the Posers rebounded with some dignity in the second game as they buried Maptek “Give That Dog Some” T-Bones 24-6, avenging their opening game loss to the Tekkies. The split reduced the magic number to clinch the league title down to 1. With 2 games left in the Leisure circuit, the ‘drums need to take 1 game or require the Ralphs to lose 1 of 2. The Puzzlers square off with the Ralphies in the season finale, the second contest of another doubleheader next Monday evening.

No Field of Dreams – They built it, but the Conundrums didn’t want to come. Lakewood Park’s Field #1 has been a source of grief for the franchise whenever forced to make up games there. Just why the team suffers on the big field remains a conundrum. On the bright side, the scoreboard is 37% functional, which is a big plus for our inebriated fans who wish to track the game in between shots of mohitos.

Go Team Go! (Burrrp!) The Puzzlers set a new record for single game attendance when eight patrons packed the stands. The crowd was as spirited as you’ll ever see. The rowdies, fueled by mohitos, were in a cheering mood, even when the Conundrums were going down in flames in the first game. It was difficult to determine at times whom the Mohito Mauraders were rooting for. When Ryan Wilcoxen mysteriously muffed a routine pop fly, the drunken patrons were heard screaming “yeah Ryan!. Way to go, dude!” It was the first time anyone can remember the home crowd requesting a player curtain call for dropping a ball. Never one to disappoint, Wilky gladly tipped his hat to the appreciating crowd on his way back to the dugout. (Or was that his middle finger?)

After 12 games, Puzzler fans finally show up in (loud) droves; Puzzler Rooter celebrates Paul Ries grand slam by chugging home-made prune juice brew; Former Conundrum Mark Satriano shares a cordial moment with Ryan Wilcoxen as amused Eric Swanson looks on.

Son Of Eddie? A funny thing happened on Eddie’s way to scoring Monday. The veteran Conundrum did what every hard-nosed catcher does to his counterpart: “Pudge” Layton lowered his scapula and nearly decapitated the Maptek backstabber, er backstopper, ala Buster Posey. Eddie was heard as far away as Field #3 rounding third base, screaming, “this one’s for Buster, you turkey!” Nobody knew what drove Eddie to near madness, but then the same may be asked of the Boston Strangler for weeping very softly, er for crying out loud.

When Bad Boys Go Good - Mark it down – Monday night was the first week in ages that no Conundrum experienced a run-in with either the umpiring crew or opposing team – gone were Ryan Wilcoxen-like rants, absent were the Dale St Aubin dag-nab expletives, lacking were the Sean Butcher beer-guzzling game-consumptions that led to the heave and a ho. Have the Mysterians lost their edge, shedding that Broadstreet Bully mantra in favor of the bible-thumping soft-spoken Colorado Rockies? Seriously...it’s not a rhetorical question.

The Old Emwa And The Sea - Many blame the team’s loss to OBYB on the absence of team BA leader, Jason “Club Med” Emmot, whose only objective while vacationing in the sands of Cabo this week was to snare a 55 pound giggling marlin. What makes this piece so peculiar is that the Gigglin Marlin is actually a bar & grille in downtown Cabo. And that’s no laughing matter (with apologies to deep-sea fishing aficionados everywhere)

Hat Thievery Is A Felony Where I Come From: And finally, if anyone knows the whereabouts of Coach Tomey’s sweat-soaked Conundrum ball cap, please return it to the team’s Lost ‘n Found receptacle located at the far end of the outside foyer near the edge of the parking lot next to the park’s dumpster. The perpetrator will not be castigated, although there is no guarantee that the fiend will escape un-castrated.