High Society: 11
Attendance: 5
Season Total: 13
Butchered Society!
Long Relief Veteran Comes Out Of Bullpen, Stymies High Society
Butch saved Puzzler bacon with his pedestrian pitching performance. Though he failed to
eclipse any records, he didn't get mad at anybody except Dale St. Aubin, whom he vowed
never to speak to again.
LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) - The last time he pitched a game, it ended with the Posers celebrating their second league title on July 26, 2010. Almost two years later, Sean (the) Butcher rises from the Dale St. Aubin ashes, turns in his catcher's mitt for a pitcher's glove to rescue the Conundrums with a perfectly mediocre pitching performance and notch his first win of the year. Sean's 2012 debut was nearly spoiled as the Puzzlers fell into a malaise for the first 5 innings. In the 6th and final inning, however, those metal sticks arose from the grave as the team rallied, erasing an 11-9 deficit, scoring 7 times (5 of those runs were scored after two were out) and the Conundrums held off the disappointed High Societers to win their third straight victory. Sean's pitching performance was made possible after starter, Dale St. Aubin dialed the coach up 72 minutes before game time to request a leave of his senses, errr, absence. Mrs. St. Aubin allegedly left the starting hurler with kid-watching duties. Meanwhile, coach Tomey was shocked when the phone rang. Said Robert of Golden: "The only question I had for Dale was what took him so long to call me?"
The Return of #32 - Old Glory himself, Eddie "Go Get 'Em, Boys" Layton returns as the Conundrums special guest. Layton, who retired after 14 years as the Conundrums backstopper, appeared for the first time since shocking the softball world when he announced his retirement just prior to spring training. Layton was hired on as team consultant in charge of scouting. It should be clarified that his scouting duties were limited to finding fans, not players for the team. Judging by the lackluster attendance to date, Mr. Layton may be forced into another retirement soon....very soon.
Someday kid, this is Gonna Be You - Returning to his first Conundrum ballgame in 5 weeks, Jason Emmot drags kid Brendan along to prep the youngster for when his day as daddy's replacement arrives. Young Emmot was impressed with his big league surroundings, but it was apparent that he had a busy schedule lined up that night as he repeatedly asked, "when will the game be over?"
2 Car Pileup at Home and Plate - During the Conundrums' 6th inning rally, Tom Hodorff ran a red light and smashed into High Society's impeccably dressed catcher, triggering an unsavory chain of events. Trailing Mr Handyman, Brandon "I Will Follow" Casey has to hit the breaks to avoid a second crash. Hody Do gets credit for a run scored, but was issued a citation by Mr. "Corner" for an R.O.C. (Running Over the Catcher), which carries a $50 fine and 4 points off his base running license. Check out the Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am! highlight reel:
Creative Gate Manipulation #101 - The Conundrums get ready for the home stretch run and will play 4 consecutive doubleheaders for the remainder of the season. This is unwelcome news for team officials, already howling over the low attendance figures through the first 7 games. The "two for the price of one" games will result in a further decline of 50% attendance for the last 8 games. To mitigate such a disaster, the Puzzlers have announced that fans will be required to leave the park after the first game, get in their vehicles, drive around the block, re-park their vehicles, then return to their designated bleacher seats. Ushers will be on hand to guide those patrons should they require assistance. The Conundrums thank you for your patience and understanding.
The Return of #32 - Old Glory himself, Eddie "Go Get 'Em, Boys" Layton returns as the Conundrums special guest. Layton, who retired after 14 years as the Conundrums backstopper, appeared for the first time since shocking the softball world when he announced his retirement just prior to spring training. Layton was hired on as team consultant in charge of scouting. It should be clarified that his scouting duties were limited to finding fans, not players for the team. Judging by the lackluster attendance to date, Mr. Layton may be forced into another retirement soon....very soon.
Someday kid, this is Gonna Be You - Returning to his first Conundrum ballgame in 5 weeks, Jason Emmot drags kid Brendan along to prep the youngster for when his day as daddy's replacement arrives. Young Emmot was impressed with his big league surroundings, but it was apparent that he had a busy schedule lined up that night as he repeatedly asked, "when will the game be over?"
2 Car Pileup at Home and Plate - During the Conundrums' 6th inning rally, Tom Hodorff ran a red light and smashed into High Society's impeccably dressed catcher, triggering an unsavory chain of events. Trailing Mr Handyman, Brandon "I Will Follow" Casey has to hit the breaks to avoid a second crash. Hody Do gets credit for a run scored, but was issued a citation by Mr. "Corner" for an R.O.C. (Running Over the Catcher), which carries a $50 fine and 4 points off his base running license. Check out the Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am! highlight reel:
Creative Gate Manipulation #101 - The Conundrums get ready for the home stretch run and will play 4 consecutive doubleheaders for the remainder of the season. This is unwelcome news for team officials, already howling over the low attendance figures through the first 7 games. The "two for the price of one" games will result in a further decline of 50% attendance for the last 8 games. To mitigate such a disaster, the Puzzlers have announced that fans will be required to leave the park after the first game, get in their vehicles, drive around the block, re-park their vehicles, then return to their designated bleacher seats. Ushers will be on hand to guide those patrons should they require assistance. The Conundrums thank you for your patience and understanding.
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