2014 Preseason Update

2014 Preseason Update

A Year Older, a Year Wiser 



Someone once said that “time heals all wounds”.  The Conundrums will find out if 8 months was long enough as they return to the diamond a week from today.    

To say that 2013 was “a disappointing year” would be an understatement.  The team tasted victory so infrequently that management quit paying attention.  The team’s award winning TWICS reporting team went on strike, and team records haven’t been updated in 24 months. 

In response to the team’s woes, management has decided to take a page out of the Monfort book of team management: “Stand pat, and stick with what you’ve got.” 

As rampant fan criticism of ownership has increased, interim General Manager Jason Emmot said, “We were extremely active in the free agent market this year.  Dale retired again, and Brubaker is on a work-related sabbatical.  To say we haven’t done anything is just flat out wrong and not supported by the facts.  Addition through subtraction is what it comes down to.” 

Former owner Bob Tomey was incredulous with Emmot’s response.  “I’ve never seen an organization more mismanaged than this bunch.  I have season tickets, but haven’t been to a game since I left the team.  I can’t do it.  They make me sick to my stomach, which is really something.  Listen, I had to watch Dom Morelli and Brian Richie and never even had to break out the TUMS.  But with this bunch….” 

Team captain and interim Team Mom, Ryan Wilcoxen came to Emmot’s defense when pressed for answers.  “We were a pretty young team last year.  Well, ‘young’ probably isn’t the right word.  We had some new guys who showed a lot of promise.  Well, ‘promise’ probably isn’t the right word either.  But we’re confident we’ll get our mojo back.  Maybe not this year.  Maybe not next year.  But we’re building for the future.   The future just looks bleaker than most people want to admit.” 

Emmot said that the team felt that consistency will be the key in 2014.  “We wanted some stability with our team so we didn’t bring in any new players.  Fans can expect to see consistency with this group.  We’ll still have random batting orders and frequent defensive shifts.  We like steadiness.” 

Have a Roadie: The Conundrums open the season with four consecutive road games before their home opener on May 19. 

Season Opener:  The Puzzler’s open the 2014 season on Monday April 21 against league newbies Connexion.  First pitch 7:15p on Field #3.