Week 4 vs Green Mtn Kings

Green Mountain Kings: 4

Conundrums: 14

Attendance: 2.5 + a dog named Blue

Attendance (YTD): 3.5 (plus a dog)

 

 

 

Conundrums Win!

Team Runs Unbeaten Record to One Game

Shortstop Tom Hodorff (3-3, 2R, 5RBI) accepts the season’s first authentic TWIX award from Interim Coach Emmot

 

LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) – The Conundrums home opener couldn’t have gone any better if they wrote the story ahead of time.  Playing in front of a record setting crowd, the Puzzlers beat the hapless Green Mountain Kings 14-4 Monday night at Lakewood Park. 

 

The Conundrums wowed Eric Swanson’s parents, son, and Brubaker's dog "Blue", by jumping out to a quick 4-1 lead which the team refused to relinquish.  The Conundrums put a bow on the run-shortened game in the 5^th inning, much to the chagrin of their royal opponents. 

Dandy  Randy: Starting pitcher Randy “The Urologist” Dickman improved his ERA to 11.08 after tossing a 4 run gem on Monday night.  Randy, known as a consummate pro, gave credit to catcher Sean Butcher for “verbally framing ever pitch”.  

League Umpiring crew was not quite as satisfied with Butcher’s vocal work, vowing to bring emergency muzzle and duct tape to next week’s game.  

Ries Sabbatical: Paul “No Show” Ries takes leave of absence from team to visit the land of cheap beer, bratwurst, orange vests and mostly drunken women. Swanson, Kessel, and Hodorff (especially Hodorff) amused that someone from Iowa actually discovered “the Motherland”.  Said Tom, “I guess if an Iowan is out wandering around long enough they’ll eventually find something more entertaining than corn and attractive cattle.” 

Swanson Take a Ride: Eric “Nuts” Swanson regales team with stories from his Wisconsinite youth.  Teammates riveted as Swanson credits stranger for showing him proper jet-ski passenger technique, and introducing him to previously undiscovered locations on the lake. 

 

TWIX-tastic: According to sources, Tomey Enterprises (dba “Conundrums Softball Club LLC”) and Mars, Inc. have come to an imaginary agreement on unofficial sponsorship rights for related to the TWIX candy brand.  Although financial details of the multi-year agreement were not disclosed, sources estimate the size of the deal around $17.36 per year. 

 

A Conundrums spokesperson said, “We are pleased to continue our long standing partnership with the TWIX brand and look forward to expanding our co-marketing relationship with Mars, Inc.”

 

When contacted for comment, a Mars, Inc. spokesperson said, “As a policy we don’t comment on these types of transactions, but can tell you with 100% certainty that we’ve never heard of the Conundrums.”