Classic Metals 3
Conundrums 13
Game 2:
Conundrums 13
FOP Dawgs 11
Attendance: 0 (again)
Season Attendance To Date: 6
Puzzlers Claim a Pair
Run Win Streak to 8; Remain in 1st Place
Butcher winning his first Crunchchocolaty of the night. Nothing goes better with a TWIX than a PBR.
Sean claims TWIX number 2 on the night. Like a shark on blood, once Butcher tasted that sweet, sweet chocolate (with carmel and cookie center) nothing could stop him from winning another.
Lakewood, CO (TP) – All four games were played at Lakewood Park on Monday night, in what has been hailed as the first sound decision made by the Lakewood Parks and Rec department in over 27 years. Citing a carve out of the Force Majure clause in the team’s registration agreement, League Coordinator Chris “We have Nice Toilets” Lucas, insisted that the show must go on despite the danger of severe weather, lest the city be held liable for intentional contractual breach.
Nothing could budge the steely Lucas from achieving his objective. Not the threatening rainclouds hovering over the foothills like a leviathan ready to devour (or at least spit upon) its prey. Not the heavy precipitation that clearly rolled through the park earlier in the day. The waterlogged outfield complete with 12 inches of unmowed turf, and the muddy infield best suited for a swine sty, were summarily dismissed as inconsequential. Thus, the games were commenced, completed, and decided in spectacular fashion.
Game 1 vs Classic Metals: Had you told the team in advance that Sean Butcher would be the “MVP” of the game, it would have been assumed that the Conundrums lost in astonishing style. However, the Puzzlers effortlessly dismissed the last place metal workers 13-3 in a 5 inning contest. Aside from Butcher’s exploits at the plate, and Eric “Water Board” Swanson’s Holy (errr…holey) glove, nothing occurred during the contest to justify this author taking the time to document.
Game 2 @ FOP Dawgs: Had you told the team in advance that Sean Butcher would be the “MVP” of BOTH games, it would have been assumed that the remainder of the team was killed in a disastrous airplane crash, or had been inflicted with Layton Disease (Acute Alternating Narcoleptic Insomniatic Disorder). Nevertheless, the Puzzlers rallied late at the plate, and held tough defensively in the bottom of the 7th inning, to claim the nightcap 13-11. Thanks to his 3-3 performance (2 singles and a double?!?...are you kidding me?) the team has labeled Sean “Mr. July 11”. The team looks forward to the 2016 season to see if Sean can live up to his moniker.
The Motorvator: Citing a long held distrust for the men in blue, roving outfielder and #6 hitter Ryan goes on a near-criminal rampage during the nightcap against the Fraternal Order of Police Dawgs. Accusations of assault, slander, disorderly conduct, public exposure, pubic exposure, failure to wash hands, utilization of teammate as beer screen, ineffective chatter, deficient pronunciation, utilization of a glass container at a public park, wearing of nonstandard head coverings, possession of an unlicensed jet pack, and defamation (thankfully not defecation) were leveled by one, or more, onlookers. Ryan made amends by sheepishly apologizing to FOP Dawgs players, Conundrum teammates, and Chris “Our Restrooms also have Nice Sinks” Lucas before departing the complex.
Thankfully, Ryan also has a long running hatred for Rebels (next week’s opponent), which team brass expects will result in angelic-like attitude from Mr. Wilky during the July 18 contest.
Injury Report:
“Fast” Eddie Layton: Zzzzzzzzzzz mmmph zzzzzzzzzzzzz (snort)
Nothing could budge the steely Lucas from achieving his objective. Not the threatening rainclouds hovering over the foothills like a leviathan ready to devour (or at least spit upon) its prey. Not the heavy precipitation that clearly rolled through the park earlier in the day. The waterlogged outfield complete with 12 inches of unmowed turf, and the muddy infield best suited for a swine sty, were summarily dismissed as inconsequential. Thus, the games were commenced, completed, and decided in spectacular fashion.
Game 1 vs Classic Metals: Had you told the team in advance that Sean Butcher would be the “MVP” of the game, it would have been assumed that the Conundrums lost in astonishing style. However, the Puzzlers effortlessly dismissed the last place metal workers 13-3 in a 5 inning contest. Aside from Butcher’s exploits at the plate, and Eric “Water Board” Swanson’s Holy (errr…holey) glove, nothing occurred during the contest to justify this author taking the time to document.
Game 2 @ FOP Dawgs: Had you told the team in advance that Sean Butcher would be the “MVP” of BOTH games, it would have been assumed that the remainder of the team was killed in a disastrous airplane crash, or had been inflicted with Layton Disease (Acute Alternating Narcoleptic Insomniatic Disorder). Nevertheless, the Puzzlers rallied late at the plate, and held tough defensively in the bottom of the 7th inning, to claim the nightcap 13-11. Thanks to his 3-3 performance (2 singles and a double?!?...are you kidding me?) the team has labeled Sean “Mr. July 11”. The team looks forward to the 2016 season to see if Sean can live up to his moniker.
The Motorvator: Citing a long held distrust for the men in blue, roving outfielder and #6 hitter Ryan goes on a near-criminal rampage during the nightcap against the Fraternal Order of Police Dawgs. Accusations of assault, slander, disorderly conduct, public exposure, pubic exposure, failure to wash hands, utilization of teammate as beer screen, ineffective chatter, deficient pronunciation, utilization of a glass container at a public park, wearing of nonstandard head coverings, possession of an unlicensed jet pack, and defamation (thankfully not defecation) were leveled by one, or more, onlookers. Ryan made amends by sheepishly apologizing to FOP Dawgs players, Conundrum teammates, and Chris “Our Restrooms also have Nice Sinks” Lucas before departing the complex.
Thankfully, Ryan also has a long running hatred for Rebels (next week’s opponent), which team brass expects will result in angelic-like attitude from Mr. Wilky during the July 18 contest.
Injury Report:
“Fast” Eddie Layton: Zzzzzzzzzzz mmmph zzzzzzzzzzzzz (snort)
Dan Batt: Turf Toe or some other made-up ailment.
* - May, or may not, be Dan's actual toe
Next Game:
Monday July 18 (6:15pm)
Ray Ross Park Field 1 (they have nice toilets with sinks)
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