Green Mountain Kings Doubleheader - 8/6/12

Game 1
Conundrums 6
Green Mountain Kings 0

Game 2
Green Mountain Kings 12
Conundrums 22 (5 Innings)

Attendance: 5
Season Total: 29

Open The Door And Let "Em In

Conundrums' Sweep, Coupled With Titan Loss Provides Clear Path to 3-Peat

MVP's:  Game 1 Coach's Award goes to J. Emmot (3-4, 2B (9)
R (21), RBI (25); Game 2 nod went to P. Ries (3-4, 3B(2), Inside
Park HR (3), 3R (26), 4RBI (21); Congratulations to both!   

 

 

 LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) - Despite a nasty Green Mountain knuckleballer throwing a rubbish pitch that would make junk bonds fraudster Michael Milken wince, the Conundrums defense - behind Dale St. Aubin's first complete game shutout of the year - stymied the GMK's in the first game of yet another twin bill, then settled in for the nightcap with a typical Puzzler feast in Game 2 to sweep the hapless "Colorful Mountains Royals".  The Posers were treated to a bonus when they discovered that the seemingly invincible Titans were shocked by the Maptek T-Bones 19-18 upset in their DH finale, locking the 'drums and Titanics into a virtual tie in the Lakewood Leisure League Standings.  By reason of both insanity and tie-breaker rules, the Conundrums can clinch their third straight leisure league title with a season-ending doubleheader sweep of The Dukes next Monday.  It's simple (even for softball guys):  take care of business and be the proud recipients of yet another cheaply designed T-shirt and $85-off coupon, redeemable in 2013.

 

Call The Umpire Repair Man! - Unnamed game umpire had trouble turning the yap button off (even during play when player/coach Bob Tomey was fielding infield throws at 1B).  Case in point:  "Hey that's gonna cost him a case of beer (Out at First!).  On my softball team, we make 'em run the bases (Strike 2!), but we're a bit tougher than you guys (Foul Ball!)...

 

Banal Butchering - In game 2, Sean Butcher made a serious run at his second MVP of the year with two notable highlights:  Firstly, Butch knocked in a pair of runs in a single AB!  The historical record shows no evidence that this has ever happened - yet another milestone in a season fraught with team accomplishment.  Then, prior to the bottom of the 5th, Sean boomed out in commanding tones to his mates that he - and he alone - should knock in the game-ending RBI.  The Wheat Ridge resident's powerful vociferations are matched only by his equally magnanimous boiler, and the players took notice.  With two outs and the speedy Wilcoxen on 2B, Butcher dinked a Rhode Island Leaguer over second base, thus scoring Wilky and ending the game.  Unfortunately, all that and a 2 for 4 performance  wasn't enough to land Sean the TWIX - Bitter, Sean vowed never ever again to contribute so mightily to the Conundrum cause.

 

Please Listen Carefully as Our Menu Has Changed - The good news on Field #3's scoreboard:  it works just fine.  The bad news:  #3's scorekeeper has not been fully trained on how to light it up or to keep score.  Balls, strikes, outs were never recorded and the lady in the tower had trouble keeping track of all 6 runs the Conundrums scored in game #1.  The control panel with its complex scheme of "on/off" "stop/start" buttons finally led to an in-game call to the manufacturer's Help Desk.  Nobody is really sure what the problem was as she was still on hold after completion of game 2. 

 

That's A Croc - Minding his own business in the on-deck circle, TWICS beat writer Tomey was busy contriving the evening's TWICS headlines when a Tim Doherty SCUD missile was launched his way, theatening bodily harm.  Tomey averted serious injury when he was able to do some nifty tap dancing to avoid Doherty's errant foul ball.  When asked how he was able to move those flat feet so quickly, the 51 year old Bob responded, "I learned those moves when I was Chief Mine Sweeper in the alligator-infested Florida Everglades years ago."

 

Quote of The Night:  "My ass hurts" - Ryan Wilcoxen after driving 1400 miles from U-Per, Michigan to make the game.

 

To Randomize Or Not To Randomize - With two games left and the Mystery Boys needing to win both in order to secure the league title, the question of Random Night is now a serious dilemma.  Should the Conundrums go full throttle and bury the hapless 3-11 Dukes and forego traditon or risk the Random gods serving up Sean Butcher at shortstop, Paul Ries - with his cannon arm - underhanding 68 mph pitches to the backstop, and relying upon Bob "lame arm" Tomey to save the game by gunning down a runner at home from LC?  Ah, these are the age old questions.  Stay tuned....

 

Conundrum Olympiad I - The first ever Conundrum Olympics were held on a dark grassy knoll outside Field #3 Monday night and what a spectacle it was - event sponsor and visionary Eric "Barry Fay" Swanson pulled the event off without a hitch and fittingly won the gold medal in the only event, the 76 meter race by a hair over slightly favored Paul Ries.  Ries, who won the Iowa State Cornfield qualifing heat to represent the Hawkeye state, got a late start and finished with the silver.  Ryan Wilcoxen finished with the bronze while Jason "It's Hammy Time" Emmot came up lame and failed to finish.  Sean Butcher was a late addition to the field, but after the first step decided to angle off towards an exposed PBR waiting for him on the sidelines rather than risk Suds Theft.  The only downer was the poor video quality.  Bob Tomey creator of the critically acclaimed "Year of the Puzzler" award-winning film tarnished his reputation when his camera skimmed the tops of the heads of the runners as they crossed the finish line.  Apparently the term "photo finish" rang hollow to the frazzled Scorcesi wanna be.  Nevertheless nothing could dampen Swanson's beaming pride as he proclaimed:  "This is the best Olympics ever!"