Motorboaters Doubleheader - 7/30/12

Game 1
Motorboaters 3
Conundrums 15 (5 Innings)

Game 2
Conundrums 18
Motorboaters 2 (4 Innings)

Attendance:  2
Season Total:  24  

We Need More Brooms!

Puzzler Mojo Continues, Beleaguered Motorboaters Latest Victims in Double Blowout

                             Coach Tomey presents Game 1 (St. Aubin) and 2 (Casey) with post-game
                                       TWIX MVP's.  Future Conundrum star, Ryan St. Aubin looks on.

  LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) - The Conundrums left the Motorboaters dead in the water Monday night with another double massacre.  It was the fourth straight game in which the Posers finished off an opponent in 5 or less innings as the 'drums continued to hit the snot out of the ball - which is good considering the sticky situation that would otherwise bear witness.  During this span, the Mysterians' team BA has surged from .542 to .581, a spike of approximately 39 points.  This hitting synchronization is nothing short of a harmonic blitzkrieg.  With four games left, the Conundrums are poised for another strong finish.

I've Got A Mouth and I'm Not Afraid To Use It - Ordaining himself the new leader of the Conundrums Swagger Movement, Dale St Aubin - from the safety of his perch on the mound -  went at it jaw to jaw, toe to toe with the Motorhead dugout.  There were no bench clearings to report, as there was little evidence of combativeness present on the Motor City Vessel.  Yet Aubbie seemed to enjoy his jibber-jabberwalk and talk.  And while the official team position on smack talking was outlawed during the franchise's Donnie Baker era (aka the "Viper Dark Ages"), St. Aubie's blustering tends to take his mischievous mind away from notions of pitching behind his back left-legged.

Brubey's Moving Violation -   When 3rd base coach Tim "Officer" Doherty ordered an out of control Dave "Brakeless" Brubaker to halt, he didn't simply ignore the bewildered senior Conundrum on his way to scoring; Brubey had the presence of mind to reply, "No, you can't make me!".  It was the first time ever that a base-runner verbally instructed his 3rd base coach to euphemistically "shove it".  David has been ordered to enroll in the club's Player Sensitivity Training program.  It's the 3rd time he's taken the course.

Where Did This TWIC Come From?? - One week removed from his rarefied cycle, Jason "Life Is a Cycle, Then You Start Over Again" Emmot nearly repeats the feat when he hits a 1B, 2B, 3B and then a HR-O.  Emmot first dubbed the anomaly the "Bizarro Cycle", but later amended the nomenclature to "Bandit Cycle" as a slam against arch Conundrum rival, Dale St. Aubin who refuses to stop hitting the game's 1st and only home run, before Em can release all that pent-up power.  Relations between the two slam artists remains amiable although Jason did cancel their annual golf 'n fishing weekend, citing a sudden commitment to see "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change" with his in-laws.

Swanny World Tour Cancelled - Visionary, founder, promoter, and self-proclaimed favorite to win the  Conundrums 1st Olympiad in the 41 meter sprint to be held on August 6, Eric "Uni-Athelon" Swanson shatters his make believe reputation when he dogs it running the bases.  Failing to score from 2B on a Jason Emmot double, Swanny claims that third brat consumed during a ribbon-cutting lunch ceremony did him in.   As of this writing, Swanson is listed as a Vegas 40-1 shot to make it past the qualifying round in the Olympics.  After tonight's games, sponsors from Coke, Gillette and Compound W all pulled Swanny ads.

He'll Go For the Gold - In a rarity only matched by the coming of Armageddon, veteran Poser, Sean Butcher was minding his own business, thinking whether he should send his bookie a funny or sentimental birthday card, when suddenly he was summoned to 1st base to run for Brandon Casey who came up lame after leaning over to scoop up a buffalo head nickel while running the bases.  Six singles later, "Loose Legs" Butcher scored, then promptly registered for the Conundrum Olympics.


Tomey to Wilk: "I Got Yer Back" - With Ryan "U-Per" Wilcoxen vacationing in beautiful Mackinaw Island, Michigan, many wondered who would keep the team's 12 game "Dropped Ball" streak alive?  Stepping up like he's never done before, 1st base sacker, Bob Tomey came through in the clutch, fumbling a soaring pop up.  Sadly, "Slippery Glove" Tomey avoided a charged error, when alert 2B sacker Doherty picked up the live ball and touched 1st base to record the putout.  Moments later, Ryan called to congratulate Tomey for keeping the dream alive.