Game Cancelled

June 24, 2013

GAME CANCELLED

Due to "Unsafe Field Conditions"

 

 

 

 



Week 6 vs Rebels

Rebels: 20

Conundrums: 15

Attendance: 0

Attendance (YTD): 11

THEY'RE NOT BACK!
True



Three Sacker Bandon Casey (2-3, R, HR, BB, 3 RBIs) claims weekly crunch-chocolaty.

 





LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) - Success proved too much for the Q-Markers to handle as the team took another step backwards in their quest to make the Lakewood Leisure League playoffs. 

A combination of untimely hitting, pitching and defensive glove work, left the Conundrums literally scratching their heads in a 20-15 loss.  

The loss drops the Conundrums to 2-4 on the season...its worst start in the modern era.    

Tight Wad: Teammates remained confused as Ryan arrived at the park indicating he had some construction materials which he was unwilling to share.  Said Ryan, "I have shingles, but I can't give them to you", which elicited an immediate angry response from the peanut gallery.

Handyman Tom said, "Look, there is no use letting perfectly good shingles go to waste.  I could use them on a job, and Ryan is being stingy".  Added Sean Butcher, "If he doesn't want them, he should at least pawn them off and buy the team a 12 pack.  This group has no team spirit."   
 

Angst: The team seems to be getting on board a week after rolling out the new batting order methodology.  The team's 15 runs ranked second on the season, despite the loss. However, the team's competitive spirit seems to be getting the best of the Conundrums as calls of "Hey batter batter" could be heard from the Puzzler's dugout while the team was batting. 

Week 5 vs Green Mtn Kings

Kings: 0

Conundrums:  13

Attendance: 1

Attendance (YTD): 11

THEY'RE BACK!
Maybe

Paul Ries (3-3, 2R, 2B, HR, 6 RBIs) can't contain his excitement while being awarded the weekly chocolate prize

 





LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) - A week after an embarrassing last inning defeat, the Conundrums righted the ship in a 13-0 laugher at Lakewood Park (field #2). 

 

After three consecutive losses, coach Emmot rolled out a lineup which left the team in shock and awe.  Power hitters Ries and St. Aubin, and speedsters Wilcoxen and Swanson, were all dropped in the order in favor of a "batting average preference criteria" which is easy to explain, but hard to accept (apparently).

 

Nevertheless, the players responded both offensively and defensively, as the Kings failed to advance a single runner past second base. 

 

Random Randy: After hearing about the team's annual random-night, Rookie utility-man Randy Dickman has decided to get on board. Teammates have reported that Randy has been utilizing a complex process which appears to be one part Roshambo, two parts Bubblegum Bubblegum In A Dish, and three-quarters part "yesterday's average temperature" divided by "current relative humidity" to select his bat before each plate appearance. 

Week 4 @ Rebels

Conundrums: 9

Rebels: 12

Attendance: 3

Attendance (YTD): 10

 

CONUNDRUMS WITHOUT A CAUSE

Losing Streak Now Three



Mr. Part-Timer, Eric Swanson (2-3, 2B, R) accepts his MVP award
despite howls of protests from teammates

 

LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) - The Conundrums turned in another ho-hum performance at the plate, as they saw their losing streak extended to three consecutive games, putting their post-season chances in jeopardy. 

 

The Q-Markers took a 9-8 lead into the bottom of the last inning, only to watch the Rebels hit a bases clearing, 3 run triple in their last at-bat to claim the 12-9 victory.  The Puzzlers bats did them no favors on the night as Wilcoxen, Ries, and St. Aubin teamed up to hit five, yes FIVE, HROs, to go along with Brubaker's strikeout in the 4th frame. 

 

Team owner Bob Tomey had no comment following the latest debacle, but sources close to the reclusive Thousandaire indicate that he is pondering a fire sale at the trade deadline.

 

Week 3 vs Maptek T-Bones

Maptek: 10

Conundrums: 8

Attendance: 2

Attendance (YTD): 7

T-BONES COOK CONUNDRUMS

Puzzlers Drop to 1-2

 

Weekly TWIX MVP Dave “Short-timer” Brubaker (3-4, R, 2 RBI) shows his “appreciation”to coach Emmot.

 

LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) – Despite the banishment of interim coach Butcher to a Might Mites in-line hockey league, the pageantry of the home opener, and a beautiful 80 degree day, the Conundrum bats stayed frozen for the second consecutive week. 

The Puzzler’s started the game a bit shaky as untimely pitching, rusty gloves, and intermittent bird watching, allowed the Maptek T-Bones to take an early 4-1 lead.  Against all odds, the Conundrums seemed to wake up in 2^nd inning, sending 9 different batters to the plate, and scoring a more traditional 6 runs.  Unfortunately for the home team, the awakening proved to be nothing more than a midnight snack, as the Conundrums only managed to score a single run in the next 5 frames. 

All’s Well That Ends Well: The week 3 loss to Maptek drops the Conundrums below .500 for the first time since week 2 of the 2011 season.  Longtime fans will recall that the Conundrums rallied in 2011 to win their second consecutive League Championship despite starting the season 0-2, which included an opening day, 11-12 loss to these very same Maptekians. 

Fast Times a Lakewood Park:  Week 2 interim statistician, Ryan, left the scorebook at work, requiring the team to utilize a generic Lakewood Park version, printed on a 1965 Ditto machine, salvaged from a local elementary school.  Team denies that constant sniffing of the score-sheet’s ink impacted their ability to see pitches or pop-ups. 

Rookie of the Year Watch: The race for the ROTY Award (presented by Fun Sized TWIX) is shaping up to be a real barn-burner.  Rookies are hitting a combined .323, 4 runs, no extra base hits, combined with 2 Ks over 10 player games.  Co-skipper Sean Butcher opined, “I haven’t seen this kind of productivity since the good ol’ days of Baker, Stout and Richie”.   

Spring Break:  The Conundrums now embark on a two week hiatus due to a previously scheduled bye week, as well as a previously scheduled Memorial Day.  Team officials have mandated voluntary two-a-day batting practice for the entire team.  To date, there have been no takers. 

Week 2 @ Crush

Conundrums: 6
Benchwarmers: 11

Attendance (Game): 5
Attendance (YTD):  5

 

CONUNDRUMS GET CRUSH-ED

Puzzlers Move to 1-1, Give Faithful Nothing to Cheer For

 

Week 2 MVP Brandon Casey. 
Thanks to the Conundrum Softball Club Art and Design Dept. for this amazing rendering

 

LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) - What a night.  The Conundrums successfully celebrated their annual "Forget Your Bats in the Car Night" with the Q-Marker batters going a combined 10-for-34, and scoring an outstanding 6 runs.  That's right.  Like waking up after a night of boozing and realizing you have crapped the bed....6 runs. 

 

Boos from the Conundrum faithful rained down as part-time pitcher/catcher, Sean "I need a runner Blue" Butcher overheard mumblings of "Why do we even come out to watch these guys", to "maybe they will stop raising ticket prices if we stop coming to watch this nonsense". 

 

Week 2 "MVP": The weekly TWIX was awarded to Brandon Casey, who was seen leaving the premisis before interim coach Sean Butcher had an opportunity to hand out the delicious prize which he forgot to pick up on the way to the field. 

 

Next: The Puzzlers hope to get back on track with a 7:15 match against rival Maptek. 





Week 1 @ Benchwarmers

Conundrums: 23
Benchwarmers: 16

Attendance (Game): 0
Attendance (YTD):  0

Conundrums Roll In Season Opener

Puzzlers Start 1-0 After Relegating Benchwarmers to the Pine in a 23-16 Victory

Despite protests from teammates, Emmot (4-4, HR, 2 2B, 5 RBIs) awards the first TWICs Award of 2013 to himself

 

LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) - “And so it goes.  Even the mightiest Oak will one day wither, expire, decay, and fall; yet never prior to dispersing it’s seeds, and thus birthing a fresh new crop of young Oaks at a softball field near you”. –  Trebor Yemot (1436-1523)

And so it goes indeed.  The Conundrums, a/k/a “Three Time Defending Monday Night Leisure League Champions Lakewood Park Edition” (or TTDMNLLCLPE for short) made quick work of The Benchwarmers despite a completely retooled roster, and a defensive lineup which could be considered a dry-run for the team’s annual Random Night.

After two consecutive snow-outs, the eager combatants engaged in a classic back-and-forth affair on a shockingly beautiful Colorado evening.  The Puzzlers jumped out to an early lead before The Benchwarmers literally crept (err…walked) their way back into contention as pitcher Sean Butcher struggled to find the strike zone in his first start in nearly 12 months.   However, the Conundrum bats were hot, and even a late game pitching change by the Pine Riders failed to cool them down. 

Introductions:  “Ben, Ben.  Ben, Ryan.  Ryan, Ben.  Ben, Dan.  Dan, Dan.  Dan, Randy.  Randy, Tom.” Something like that. 

Kneebreaker Dale: Team management scratched pitcher and power hitter Dale from the lineup due to a “sore back”, but his condition couldn’t stop him from showing up to shake down his teammates for outstanding gambling debts.  Said Dale, “You can either pay me, or your knees will discover why I bat cleanup for this team”.  Despite repeated inquiries, the team’s front office has refused comment. 

Broken Knee Dan: New guy Dan Steel proved that he is “steel” in name only after attempting his first slide in roughly (pun intended) 15 years.  In a cloud of dust and flailing body parts, Steel dislodged both third base and a pile of flesh from his previously unscathed knee joint.   In a post-game interview, Mr. Steel said, “I told myself I was going to leave it all on the field tonight, but I didn’t plan on leaving quite so much.” 

Dan Steel's non-metallic knee.

 

Next Game: The Conundrums will attempt to keep their undefeated road record intact next Monday as they travel to play the Crush.  First pitch 6:15p. 

2013 Preseason Update

Preseason Update

Puzzlers rebuild, ready to defend 2012 crown

 

 

 LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) - Eschewing standard practice, good judgment, and fiscal responsibility, the Conundrums are attempting to defend their 2012 Leisure League Championship by rebuilding. 

Gone is long time team manager, owner, treasurer, videographer, weekly TWIX procurer and TWICS producer, Bob Tomey who decided his physical health is more important than weak weekly banter.  

Gone is team stalwart, official trophy guy, and ironman Timmy Doherty who retires after something like 50 years on the diamond. 

Gone is Gil “We Barely Knew Ya” Solano who moseyed on back to Texas ya’ll. 

Team speedster, new dad, and night owl Eric Swanson is moving to Part-Time status in order to attend to a well regulated nap/diaper schedule. 

And finally, the on-again, off-again romance with Dave Brubaker will end (again) in mid May due to “work” related issues. 

Undeterred, the Conundrums picked up five, undrafted free agents, most of whom are vaguely familiar with the sport.  New GM Sean Butcher said that the team is excited to see what the new guys bring to the team. 

“I’m expecting at least one of them to bring Bud Light, which will please me immensely”, said Butcher.  “I’m pretty sure at least three of them have softball gloves”. 

First Pitch: The Conundrums will open the season on Monday April 15 at 9:15p.  Kids (under 12) admitted free.  The Conundrums will also host their traditional “Beer Under the Stars” event on Monday night.  This is a great opportunity for you to rub elbows over a couple barely pops, with your favorite players after the umpires turn out the lights.