Week 1 @ Benchwarmers

Conundrums: 23
Benchwarmers: 16

Attendance (Game): 0
Attendance (YTD):  0

Conundrums Roll In Season Opener

Puzzlers Start 1-0 After Relegating Benchwarmers to the Pine in a 23-16 Victory

Despite protests from teammates, Emmot (4-4, HR, 2 2B, 5 RBIs) awards the first TWICs Award of 2013 to himself

 

LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) - “And so it goes.  Even the mightiest Oak will one day wither, expire, decay, and fall; yet never prior to dispersing it’s seeds, and thus birthing a fresh new crop of young Oaks at a softball field near you”. –  Trebor Yemot (1436-1523)

And so it goes indeed.  The Conundrums, a/k/a “Three Time Defending Monday Night Leisure League Champions Lakewood Park Edition” (or TTDMNLLCLPE for short) made quick work of The Benchwarmers despite a completely retooled roster, and a defensive lineup which could be considered a dry-run for the team’s annual Random Night.

After two consecutive snow-outs, the eager combatants engaged in a classic back-and-forth affair on a shockingly beautiful Colorado evening.  The Puzzlers jumped out to an early lead before The Benchwarmers literally crept (err…walked) their way back into contention as pitcher Sean Butcher struggled to find the strike zone in his first start in nearly 12 months.   However, the Conundrum bats were hot, and even a late game pitching change by the Pine Riders failed to cool them down. 

Introductions:  “Ben, Ben.  Ben, Ryan.  Ryan, Ben.  Ben, Dan.  Dan, Dan.  Dan, Randy.  Randy, Tom.” Something like that. 

Kneebreaker Dale: Team management scratched pitcher and power hitter Dale from the lineup due to a “sore back”, but his condition couldn’t stop him from showing up to shake down his teammates for outstanding gambling debts.  Said Dale, “You can either pay me, or your knees will discover why I bat cleanup for this team”.  Despite repeated inquiries, the team’s front office has refused comment. 

Broken Knee Dan: New guy Dan Steel proved that he is “steel” in name only after attempting his first slide in roughly (pun intended) 15 years.  In a cloud of dust and flailing body parts, Steel dislodged both third base and a pile of flesh from his previously unscathed knee joint.   In a post-game interview, Mr. Steel said, “I told myself I was going to leave it all on the field tonight, but I didn’t plan on leaving quite so much.” 

Dan Steel's non-metallic knee.

 

Next Game: The Conundrums will attempt to keep their undefeated road record intact next Monday as they travel to play the Crush.  First pitch 6:15p.