Week 11 vs. Maptek T-Bones

7/13/09

Scabula! Posers Can’t Map Comeback This Time – T-Bone 7th Inning Surge Drops Puzzlers in Season Rematch




(vs) Maptek 16
Conundrums 13
Attendance = 0
Year to Date = 22


LAKEWOOD, CO (TP) – With an unfamiliar scene playing out in familiar territory, on this mildly turbulent July evening, Puzzlers spot Teks 8 runs early, but like a cat clamoring to gain entry into a house of litter, Mystery Boys scratch ‘n claw way back to eventual deadlock with late flurry, only to surrender 3 in top of 7th, no story book ending to tell grandkids this time as Conundrums suffer 2nd loss of season, hopes dashed for run at Rusty’s closely guarded league title.

I’m Sick of this guy Team comes out of gate flatter than Twiggy, sluggish fielding woes, sleepy bats dig Humdrums into hole unable to climb out from; but no excuses - bottom line at end of day when all was said and done, when push came to shove, when last man out turned out the lights, when there were no more prepositional phrases to lunge for, simple truth is on this date, on that field, from those guys, them T-Boners outperformed our Conundrumly Posers and neither this, that nor the other thing can change all that is what should never be.

Did Mr. Cheney Authorize This? Despite disappointing loss, Conundrums still on pace for perennial 2nd place finish and automatic berth to 145th annual Lakewood Leisure Tourney; FOP Dawg meltdown continues, losing 3rd straight contest – word from CIA (Conundrum Intelligence Agency) is that Copper collapse at hands of Conundrums 2 weeks earlier, triggered irreparable damage to team morale leading to chaos, anarchy; unconfirmed sources from FOP Central report of players being pistol whipped, cuffed to one another and denied basic Miranda rights - other atrocities cannot be confirmed at this time.

I Said No Means No! - Loss taken particularly hard from veteran of Conundrum Wars, Sean Butcher, who abruptly departs through park’s secret back passageway presumably to avoid media circus; despondent hurler declines teammates’ invitation to share post-game libation saying only, “not tonight, I have a headache”.

Blog Beauties Eric “Swansong’s” diving 2B stop cuts down runner at 1st, Bob “Flat Foot” Tomey’s bases jammed 1B line drive snag kills Tekkie rally, Paul “Cheetah” Ries outruns, reels in LF drive heading for gap, Jason Emwa/Eddie “Catcher in the Rye” Layton team up to nail sneaky T-Boney heading home…WOW!

Anyone Up for a Round of Russian Brewlette? Wilky preps for big game by indulging in pre-game Coors Light Delight, but still unsigned LFer accidently opens bottle of brew left over from Beerhunter tournament, resulting in unplanned shower to nearby passersby – Given that TWICS Lakewood Park correspondent witnesses entire debacle, Ryan correctly surmises story will end up in TWICS print.

Tune Of The Day: (Sing it With Us) We can’t believe the news today – Danny Batt has slid and torn his knee away – how long, how long must we watch him bleed? How long? How long…Dan-Batt, Bloody Dan-Batt…Dan-Batt, Bloody Dan-Batt…

Cheesehead Rivalry Puzzler 3 year vet, Eric Swanson files formal protest to Board of Crunchoclaty Arbitrators, disputes coveted TWIX award when cross-town Outagamie County rival Tom Handy Hody prevails in coach’s game MVP – things get heated when Swanny suddenly strikes bewildered Hodorff with used hanky, then demands “satisfaction” – bemused Hody claims he doesn’t own any Mick Jagger tunes and matter quickly blows over as fast as it began.

Near This Date In Team History – July 16, 2001 – Team formerly known as ACS Vipers hold on, nip nemesis Machine, 15-12 in 'rusty' nail biter; Sully's 7th inning gaffes remind observers of 1919 Black Sox Scandal, teammates refer to him as "Shoeless Pat"; in era before candy bars were in vogue, Doug Fabrizio/Tom Satriano share co-MVP just for the honor of it; in memory of dearly departed Conundrum, we recall Chris Pisciotta anecdote when Chris lobbied (unsuccessfully) for MVP despite going 0-fer, adding that if hitless night were primary criteria for MVP’s, coach would be unanimous vote-getter.

Fan-O-Meter Watch – After setting record attendance in back to back previous games, good times end, Conundrums’ ticket turnstile bubble bursts; team’s lobbyists on way to DC in case any TARP greenbacks still available.