Week 6 @ Fismits

DRUMS SWEEP SERIES FROM FIZZLERS !

Conundrums - 15
@ Fismits - 7
Paid Attendance = 1
Season Attendance = 7

Lakewood, CO (TP) - With the support of a near record crowd (1.25 patrons) armed with their brooms, the Conundrums once again take a season series from the fumbling Misfits. After tossing another gem, staff ace Butchy commented that taking this series is always a highlight of the year now we just need to “take a bone away from those d@#$&* Dawgs”. Key to the victory was the emergence of prodigal son Sully. Sully’s immense presence helped lessen the blow of the absence of key utility ballers Batt, Satsmo, and Swany. D. Batt was last seen hawking used soccer balls in front of Dicks Sporting Goods Park. Semi-retired Satsmo was applying his HD makeup in hopes of 15.525 seconds of fame in St Louie as the Rocks swept the Cards. Wiscony Swany was off trying to defend his 2008 title of Cheese Curd Tossing Champion of Manitowish Waters, Wisc.

Rare batting order miscue by Tomey almost derails Drumtrain when Lineup Guru Tomey leapfrogs ahead of Sully. A dazed Sully proceeds to K-out providing a catalyst to three more Ks, setting a new team single game record. While getting hazed by teammates, Tomey barks back “ I always bat after Eddie, he’s got quite a magnetic effect on me” Inside sources reveal that Tomey plotted this well in advance of game time in hopes of creating a new stat category that would allow him an entry in to the highly prized Conundrums Hall of Team Records. Team officials expect the Boo Birds to make a strong showing at the next home outing in response to this outrage.

Fast Eddie also affected by Lineup Gate, comes though in the later stages of the contest with a key 2 RBI single. Eddie quipped that he finally got so mad he “just had to hit something!”

Injury Report: Tom “Strawberry Fields Forever” Hodorff , juicy red thigh (probable for Week 7); Paul “Raspberry Tarts” Ries, Elbow and knee scrapes (probable for Week 7),; “Lineup Gate” Tomey bruises left hand popping beer caps (day to day depending on the type of beer); Wilky, burn lesions suffered while ironing tighty whiteys (hour to hour), Doherty, finger failure from writing this d@#!$ thing! (minute by minute).

Tomey forced to call up third stringer Doherty for an appearance a guest writer. Tomey tosses MVP TWIX bar to Doherty as an enticement stating that he gets paid a heck of a lot less for a whole lot better effort. Normal backup Emwa has committed the entire week to mowing “back 40” at his abode with a vintage 1890’s era weed wacker. Emwa claims that The-Son-Of-Emwa left the damn back gate open and let all the sheep out that were taking care of the lawn mowing and fertilizing. Emwa may call in later this week with a request to be added to the 15 day DL.